6:46 Drinking?

Now Im wondering if I should go to partys? I mean Im antisocial but only to people who I dont know, yes thats confusing but if you talk to me and I feel comfertable around you then Ill be your friend. Other than that I hate everyone, and people I just hate people for some odd reason. I want to go to that party with my brother but then i dont know if I should, I mean I know the people who are there, but I still dont know. I mean it just might be Im afraid to drink and make a fool of myself or that I just dont want to be around people, I guess Im shy?

I honestly dont know nor do I care, but it just feels good to get this off my chest and into the open, I think that doing so will help me overcome my own fears and as the saying goes "Mastering other takes strenght, Mastering yourself takes courage" or something like that. Anyway the subject at hand if I should go and see whats up or not. Mostly its just those moments with people and you have to make small talk, Im not good at that, nor do I like that. Small talk is useless and its just something you do until you hit that bump in your conversation and have that hour of awkward silence. And you dont want to leave that persons side but you no longer want to say anything to them.

I think people should carry egg timers around when their at partys to see how long they should talk to one person before moving on the the next one. And repeat this process till the partys over. You know maybe this is something else that im still afraid of doing thats giving me this fear of partys. I dont know and again I dont care. I guess I could go and have a fun time, I mean what else am I gonna do? But I dont want to have to go so late nine at night!

Why are partys held at night, I never got that. Why not mid-day, I guess you dont want to see the people or the sun so when you get drunk you'll be able to enjoy the drunken walk home. I guess ill go, dont know still trying to ponder the good and the bad into one answer that will make me feel good about my choice.