Message

You know I originally came on to just curse you out, to tell you thing that I know would have upset you and would make you hate me. You said that you wanted to be just friends but then you kiss me look me in the eye and give me that look like you still knew how I felt and you wanted me to know that you felt like that as well. Then you turn and change that look as though you were bored. I did not understand what the hell was going on, I was confused was it over or were you just messing with me? I don't know, I don't think you do either. I think that you just want to have more control over this relationship than you let on, you want me to beg you to come back, why else would you ask if that was all I wanted to say to you, you know I wanted you to stay by my side but you had other plans, I told you I loved you, that I would always love you, but now.... I dont know, my feeling for you are up in the air. You asked if I hated you and I said 'no, even if you hated me I would never hate you'.

You even asked if we could still be friends and that is what I am doing being your friend not your boyfriend, you want to break my heart then try to make me give you the pieces so you can fix them and make it seem like I did it. And dont you dare deny it! Why else would you have an attitude with me, you want me to just break down and shed tears of regret, you said I didnt show enough emotion when we were together, but your wrong I showed emotion, I showed SHIT LOADS of emotions but you were never happy with them, and one thing that made me angry was that you would ask when I said that I loved you 'whats that got to do with it?', you know I dont know maybe I thought that love was the center piece that held the relationship together, but maybe I was wrong maybe I dont know what love is.

You would always ask how do I know that I love you if I have never been with anyone else? Your right even though I have never been with anyone else I shouldnt know what love is, oh but you do dont you all your worldly experience makes you an expert at love doesn't it! I may not have shown my tears when you left, but damn if it still didnt hurt, you know why I didnt cry its because I could tell you were already bored with me, no matter how hard I tried to keep you, no matter what I did to show you that I cared you still wanted more, well I have to ask what more could I have done, did you want a poem or a song? Did you want me to take you to the mall more, hell even when you wanted to go get your tattoo I offered to take you but you fought me on that as well, none aggressive style. Instead of just telling me what you wanted you had to make me play a game, most people give hints you put me in a wet cave with a bunch of matches to light my way.

Now I wanted you to stay by my side, I even thought you were my destiny that you would be the one who would keep me from being alone in this world, but I see now I was wrong. Hell I dont know why I made this so long, you probably wont even read this far, you will just call me curse me out and then ask for you book back, but if you have read to this point and you never want to see me again then just call my cell phone ask me to drop this book off and tell me to leave to never come back, if you say that I will not call, will not text and you will never see me again, you said that if I were to ask you to marry me you totally would that I would be the only person who you could see yourself with like that, heh it was a good thing I stopped you from getting my named tattooed on you after all. I wanted to write something that is heart warming that I can use to get you back, but all I can see is the darkness in my heart the light that was once you is now nearly gone.

If you hate me thats fine, I wont hate you, I could never hate you, even if you think nothing but malicious thoughts about me I will still be happy, just to know that I am still in your thoughts, you are still in mine. And to let you know the day after we broke up all I could think about was that shitty song by brand new girlfriend or whatever the fuck its called. I cant cry visible tears but tears that cannot be seen, so even if I look happy my face is soaking wet from all the tears that have run down it. Even now I can feel them running down my face as I think of you, but dont think because I wrote all this that I would instantly go back with you, or that I think that you would want to go back with me, the wound is still fresh and it needs time to heal.

Oh and that girl I told you about, I was just making conversation, I dont even have feeling for her, I dont even think shes cute. But who cares you probably dont, you probably just want me to shut the hell up, well I wont be long now. One more thing I have to write, you make huge, HUGE deals out of nothing, that was something else I could not stand! But I overlooked it because I loved you. Well thats it I wrote what I wanted to write, what I wanted to say, I didnt want to say this over the phone, and you didnt want to say anything in person, so I guess we will meet half way then.

South park song slideshow

Since someone has not heard this song before I think I should post it up for that special someone!

Never Gonna Give You Up - Rick Astley

Miriam this is how I feel about you!